Bush tells of some kinda terror plot or other

10th Feb 2006, 12:00 am

From our American correspondant

After hearing the moans of the American public during his State of The Union address last week, the Bush Administration launched a strategic attempt to turn the tide on his ever shrinking popularity. "Yep; we're going back to good ol' fear tactics" said Bush’s publicist, in hopes that his popularity might rise from Washington D.C.’s French designed sewer system.

A senior administration official told the press "The U.S. government, aided by foreign allies, thwarted an al-Qaida plot to fly a commercial jetliner into the highest skyscraper on the U.S. West Coast in late 2001 or early 2002." He wasn’t sure of the exact date but he knew for certain they had "done good".

Bush’s speech later that day reported that "spying on the American public while they had phone sex with foreigners led directly to the discovery of the planned attack against the Library Towers in Los Angeles". The planned attack was actually against the formerly named Liberty Tower, now U.S. Bank Building. The terrorists had been unable to locate it due to the lack of libraries in the Los Angeles area and name confusion.

When corrected on this issue, Mr. Bush replied "Liberty, Library... I knew it was some place I'd never visited. The point is, those terrorist would have blown the whole thing up a few years back if I hadn’t listened to all those phone calls. It's time for you to understand for decisions on security you should come to the Bush. The Constitution has too many big words in it to be effective."

When asked to comment, the Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa advised that no one had told the city of the potential danger. He believes this is a direct result of the Screen Actor's Guild's refusal to endorse any of Bush's campaigns for election.

Bush's heartfelt speech ignited extreme pride in southern churches and illegal Mexican populations everywhere. Bush advised his next plan of attack was to make it legal for the bulk of his supporters to vote. He hopes this will aid him in changing the term limits and permit him to be legally voted in next time. Mr. Bush also apologized to Villaraigosa for not informing him stating; “I forgot you were Mexican, Tony."

 

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