Man in the street 'a fuckwit'

5th Jan 2006, 12:00 am

It's official - the main in the street is a fuckwit and he will not be involved in any future policy-making decisions.

The rise of 'consensus government' has referred to the man in the street on many key areas, on all of which he was believed to be an expert, or at least to 'give a shit'. It turns out this assumption was wrong.

Professor Hienkle of the Policy Research Institute says "Too often our so-called leaders have lost their bottle and simply done whatever the man in the street was moaning about. For example, we all pay lower taxes because the man in the street doesn't like to pay high tax. But he's too dumb to realise that he pays anyway through charitable donations, private healthcare, exorbitant fuel bills and so on. He really is a dipshit."

Other commentators agree. Cyril Hogsmith of the London School of Economics sites recent legislation on the use of mobile phones while driving. "Despite the fact that it's as dangerous as drink-driving the penalties are pathetic. Why? Because the man in the street rather likes to chat about last night's episode of Celebrities Behaving Badly on his mobile while driving around looking for somewhere to 24-hour binge drink. That's why."

Following from the front

He went on "Consensus government is really just a cop-out by those who have ceased to be leaders and are now simply following from the front. Unfortunately they've been following the man in the street who it turns out is a fucking idiot. Our leaders should lead - that's why we pay them the big bucks! Come up with some ideas guys, don't ask us, what do we know?"

The government has finally accepted the situation and has decided not to consult the man in the street except at election time when he is still entitled to have his say.

The man in the street was unavailable for comment.

 

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