No, you must wear your scarf like this

13th Dec 2005, 12:00 am

No no no, that's all wrong. The new rules have been in place for some time, don't pretend you didn't know. You must wear your scarf like this.

It's quite simple; anyone can do it. Indeed, everyone should, as the rules stipulate. Grab the scarfe in the centre of its length and take that section around your neck, holding the loop open. Now simply pass the loose ends through the loop and tighten. There, that didn't hurt did it? You are now 'one of us'.

Scarf knotted in the correct manner
Like this!

As for the rest of you, swanning around with your scarves tied using all manner of non-standard methods, you are simply making a mockery of western democracy - the terrorists have already won!

Don't make me report you again. We don't want any unpleasantness. You know it makes sense; you must wear your scarf like this.

 

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