IRA comeback tour

18th Sep 2005, 11:00 pm

The IRA have announced that they are to re-form for a comeback tour.

"There's been a real resurgence of interest in the whole terrorism thing recently" said a silhouetted spokesperson at a press briefing today. "Some of these new young groups have really got people excited about the kind of stuff we were pioneering back in the day."

Terrorist in silhouette with evil eyes
An IRA member.

"They've taken our work and really made it their own, no question. I don't want to take anything away from them, they're doing great work to be sure, and good luck to 'em. I just think the time is right for a return to some good old fashioned terror."

During the press briefing at an un-disclosed location, several original members of the group spoke about their teary-eyed reunion. "Partly the tears were the whole nostalgia of it, partly it was the crippling injuries I received after running into some thugs from the so-called 'Real IRA'" said one.

Although the IRA have never officially split, they have lost their focus in recent years, a fact readily admitted at the briefing. "It's true we'd lost our way a bit recently, and some of us have had some serious drug problems to deal with. Supply issues mostly. I mean, have you ever tried dealing with those fucking Columbians? And making sure the bastard school kids pay up of course, that takes a lot of time. Those kneecaps won't shoot themselves you know."


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